I press on...

I struggled to fall asleep last night. By daybreak I was still tossing and turning in my bed, thinking of the things Ibi talked about the night before, and lamenting over all the imperfections in my life. I prayed to God to come and fill my heart with the Holy Spirit, and grant me Christ's peace and joy. Later that day, I woke up to a beautiful autumn day, the sun streaming in from the window.

Winson and I spent the afternoon trying to figure out the rest of the VBA code we would need to write all the stiffness matrices into an array. We gave up hope not much later and decided to get cracking on the soils assignment we have due on the same day next week. To my amazement and both our relief, the assignment was relatively straight forward and we had things figured out (fingers crossed) in a short time.

Tonight JBFW, and I went to dinner. Afterwards Joe and I did some work at the corner Bucks.... I'm glad to say that I finished my soils assignment. Again God grant me the strength to accomplish something that I didn't think I would be able to. Now I have some more time to focus on VBA. Ever since the term started, God has been my rock, guiding me through every single class, his strength and endurance with me while I worked on every single assignment. I have always been clever, but never brilliant. It is because I asked God for the power to calm my heart and focus on school that I've been able to do so well so far. Kudos to the big guy, as always :o)

At the end of the night before we parted our ways, J and I had a brief conversation about 'relationships', specially romantic ones. If the night wasn't so chilly I suspected it might have gone on even longer. I shared with him that I often feel comfortable around guys and that around my guy friends I just feel like 'one of the guys'. Often I think of myself as no different, their equivalent. I forget about how differently God has made men and women. He brought up a few points for me to think about.

As someone who has re-discovered Christ (Well, I really am just discovering him for the first time now!) I have come to realize that my single status is a chance for me to become closer to God. To focus on him completely, and not be distracted by the ins and outs of romantic relationships. I'm pretty excited actually. I really have a thirst to know more about God, about Jesus, about the Holy Spirit. How grateful I am that a seed was planted in me long ago and that the bitter winter has finally passed, and something has sprouted from my heart. I shall press on...

'As a dear pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thrists for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?' -Psalm 42:1-2

'Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.' -Psalm 42:11