Just getting to know God still - bit of a rant!

There is so much of God I have yet to discover. It's an exciting journey really. I had originally thought that my "style" of theology would be a more conservative one. But in the past few weeks God has challenged me to develop my own, to get to know him better through not just derivatives of others' experiences but through how I experience him. Maybe faith isn't so black and white after all. Scripture is the word of God, but can be (and maybe must be!) studied academically (from a scholastic point of view) and applied, still with a clear and resolute sense of humility and God's sovereignty and divinity in mind, to our lives and our society within the proper context(s). God isn't as simple minded as I thought so foolishly. He is complex, and never to be undermined. Each of us are called to have an intelligent conversation with him - in praying to him we are not just praising and lamenting to him. I believe we're to treat God like a best friend, and between him and us there is always a constant flow of exchange - thoughts, ideas - something much much much deeper than solely treating him like a confession booth.

Nowadays I feel a bit like I'm having a wrestling match with God. His love is steadfast and he is always there. Yet, at times I still want to veer off and do things my own way. Of course, we are all like sheep who have strayed. But this feels very real. Some of the cliches of how my relationship with him "should" be like and what I "should" do to become closer to him suddenly don't seem to work. He is challenging me to hang on to him and calling me to follow him so I can find out more. Yay. God really feels like the "gift that keeps on giving", as Arthur Yoo of KPC pointed out on joint service Sunday in early December.

So the pursuit of God not only becomes a spiritual one, but one that is to be taken seriously and with zeal from all aspects. Prayer, serving God within the church, and all that other good stuff that good Christians find themselves being involved in, must be accompanied with a close look at things from an academic, scholarly point of view (as mentioned above). It's not though, as if we're trying to take God (or the Bible) apart and scrutinize is with our meager human understanding (human minds). But we are simply to discover God from all that he has left us to discover, with the intelligence and ability to interpret (which is always aided by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit) God from all sorts of angles. By then we are able to discover our own theology, each unique and different, since I'm starting to think that like humans, where the relationship between any 2 people is never the same, that God is the same way with each of us.

God made each of us sisters so different. If you meet us you will know. I think it's pretty awesome that way!

And on a final note, congratulations to Wendy and David. They were married at the NY City Hall on December 20th. It was a perfectly sunny day and everything went smoothly. Thank you God for listening to our prayers, night after night for the past months! :o)

Extra thought - the book that I'm currently reading on discernment (which I suspect is influencing my writing style a little, ah I am so easily swayed! hehe) brings up that God can speak through us in any setting and through any person, not just religious ones. I find this song speaks to me a lot from the God I have been experiencing...

I hope you dance
By Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but its worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
(time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

Great tune ;o)