I just got back from a 3 day 2 night family trip from southern Taiwan today, and I've got to say I'm happy to be home! It's always a challenge for me to get used to being with the entire family since I've been on my own for so long. My family is lovely, though much less than perfect (and admittedly many a times far from what I hope to have). Though a family trip at my age (imagine 5 adults crammed into a sedan and traveling together at all times) is sometimes difficult to bear, I have to say that we had some wonderful times. Times of laughter that could only be shared between the closeness of sisters, times of feeling like a child again snuggled beside mom, times of just being with people that you can call your very own. I sat in bed the other night, feeling a sense of emptiness knowing that soon I would be on my own again. Despite how independent I had become, I was still part of a family, a piece of the puzzle.
I also realized, or I should say I was reminded of, over the last few days, the great providence of God. How he's taken care of my family and I over the years, though we've strayed. And some other things that I couldn't pay less attention to (or think of), but were so carefully planned out by God without which (or if things had been different) so many wonderful things in my life wouldn't be, they wouldn't even exist. During the trip, there were moments of pure , irreplaceable happiness that could only be God-given. I have to admit that ever since I've been back in Taiwan I've tended to neglect my personal time with God, and devoting myself to his word. But I knew he was still with me, with my family. I could sense his presence in those defining moments ;o)
And I'm still trying to grasp my God, which I suspect I will never do in the course of this life time. I've been re-thinking a lot of thoughts - morals, values, and figuring out where I stand in terms of my faith. What do I believe? One thing I've come to terms with that God gave us free will so we can use our free will. In life many times there will not be "one way" that's God-honouring. I believe one can choose to walk down many different paths of life while still carrying out his will and pleasing him. If I woke up one morning and prayed to God saying "Oh God should I have whole wheat toast or oatmeal for breakfast?" he would probably want to smack us on the head and say "Silly child, they're both healthy! Pick the one you want to eat." Ya catch my drift? So a lot of situations we find ourselves in, we choose to be in them. And if we choose to be in them, we don't attribute our struggles due to the will of God, but rather just part of life's endless conflicts (internal and external) that will never cease to exist. I'm probably not making much sense on this. I guess what I'm trying to say is, many times there isn't one way that is the right way. There may be many right ways and many wrong ways as well. But the right ways will always be done in a manner that is pleasing to God. There, as simple as that!
I also realized, or I should say I was reminded of, over the last few days, the great providence of God. How he's taken care of my family and I over the years, though we've strayed. And some other things that I couldn't pay less attention to (or think of), but were so carefully planned out by God without which (or if things had been different) so many wonderful things in my life wouldn't be, they wouldn't even exist. During the trip, there were moments of pure , irreplaceable happiness that could only be God-given. I have to admit that ever since I've been back in Taiwan I've tended to neglect my personal time with God, and devoting myself to his word. But I knew he was still with me, with my family. I could sense his presence in those defining moments ;o)
And I'm still trying to grasp my God, which I suspect I will never do in the course of this life time. I've been re-thinking a lot of thoughts - morals, values, and figuring out where I stand in terms of my faith. What do I believe? One thing I've come to terms with that God gave us free will so we can use our free will. In life many times there will not be "one way" that's God-honouring. I believe one can choose to walk down many different paths of life while still carrying out his will and pleasing him. If I woke up one morning and prayed to God saying "Oh God should I have whole wheat toast or oatmeal for breakfast?" he would probably want to smack us on the head and say "Silly child, they're both healthy! Pick the one you want to eat." Ya catch my drift? So a lot of situations we find ourselves in, we choose to be in them. And if we choose to be in them, we don't attribute our struggles due to the will of God, but rather just part of life's endless conflicts (internal and external) that will never cease to exist. I'm probably not making much sense on this. I guess what I'm trying to say is, many times there isn't one way that is the right way. There may be many right ways and many wrong ways as well. But the right ways will always be done in a manner that is pleasing to God. There, as simple as that!
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