This isn't as easy as I thought!

I've neglected my blog for a while. It feels like lately I just haven't been inspired to write much. Maybe I have been experiencing writer's block? But the zeal I had for writing has just been dipping a little low lately ;o( In chatting with JuJu tonight, I told her how I've been feeling a bit "bleh" about my spirituality. I've been trying to figure out what kind of God is God. That's a bit question and I'll probably never figure that out. But since being back in Taiwan (and being away from my church and friends from church, and my dear roomie) I've felt like I'm being pulled back into the secular world. Not to say that I don't already live in this world and am a very real part of it, but maybe that I had been living in my world "Christian" world without trying to embrace what that is "secular", or trying hard enough to realize and see God in every aspect (and everywhere, and everyone!) in my life. It feels like I've been hit with a hard dose of reality, and perhaps God is telling me to wake up from my dream world. That knowing him is not that simple and does not just take only a few months. It's something to be pursued for a life time, always new and exciting, full of surprises, so to speak.

So what kind of a God is he? How should I act, and what should I do, to please him? What behaviour(s) of mine does he condone, and what does he frown upon? What does he delight in? What does he find funny? What does he think of various controversial topics, such as homosexuality and abortion? I really want to know what he thinks, to pick his brain. Sometimes I pray to God, with a heart full of the desire to obey, if only he would tell me what to do, I would surely go do it! But, that's something I think I'll realize as I work (模索 is a good way to describe) towards knowing him. I wonder, is this what people normally go through?