More and more I am becoming aware of my own sinfulness. The word "sinfulness" sounds rather serious, judgmental condemning - and I suspect more so to non-Christians. Perhaps this association comes from the OT where God's stern voice and commands thundered from the parting clouds. Or perhaps it's what us as humans have done to to the word in modern times, using it in popular culture to create "effect", but often times leaving people feeling, well, alienated, and to put it more harshly, discarded and disposed, from God.
Most would agree that Jesus' Sermon on the Mount leaves us feeling a little shell-shocked. "Love your enemies", "Turn the other cheek", "Be perfect like your heavenly Father is" ??? Heck, sometimes I have a hard time loving my own family and friends the way I know I should. Certainly when it comes to this, we are not to take what Jesus said literally. Or are we? Yet, Jesus himself exemplified perfection and if anybody could follow the teachings of the sermon, he himself would be the one. Now I am willing to bet that no other mortal, other than Christ himself, who was fully God and fully human, could ever follow these teachings perfectly. In deed and in thought, we are bound to fail when measured up against God's high standards. And expectantly so.
So what does this mean? Because of our sin, we are bound to fail and therefore cast into the burning fires of eternal hell. Okay that's a little extreme. Most crtainly not! Yes, we are sinners. But on the contrary, many fail to realize the awesomeness of God's Grace. For years (and still even to this day), I have lived under the shadow of a family, a circle of family friends, a society, of high expectations. The guilt of failed expectations, of words unspoken, actions not carried out, was never an uncommon feeling. Forgive me for making generalizations here, but yall who come from Asian families will know what I am talking about! To our families and friends, we have failed because we have not become the perfect mother, husband, daughter, friend. And to God, we have failed because of all the ugliness that we find in our hearts. Ugliness unfortunately shown through our actions, our words, our deeds. Indeed, we are a broken and imperfect people.
Yet, God! Yet, his Grace overflowing...
As I open myself to God, I start to recognize the inherent weaknesses in my own personality. My impatience, my pride, my selfish neediness at the expense of others' feelings. I start to dig up buried emotions of anger, hurt, dissappointment that I feel like I ought to not have, or forever tuck away. Yet, I do not feel ashamed, or look down on myself (although at times I still revert to becoming my own harsh critic). Rather, I give it all up to God. I feel liberated, and extremely thankful that God's grace not only grants me forgiveness, but the strength courage to own up the ugliness in my heart. That, it is OK and despite of it all, God loves us more than we can ever know. And, like a loving patient teaching one's child to ride a bicycle, God helps us along the road of lie. He picks us up when we fall, wipes away our tears, kisses our wounds, and tell us to try again, and again, and again. Father, with all the troubles in this world, how desperately we need your Grace.
And to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, but all the thanks and glory :o)
Grace
Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name
Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that
Changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything
Grace
She's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside
Of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips
She carries a pearl
In perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace finds goodness
In everything
Yet, God! Yet, his Grace overflowing...
As I open myself to God, I start to recognize the inherent weaknesses in my own personality. My impatience, my pride, my selfish neediness at the expense of others' feelings. I start to dig up buried emotions of anger, hurt, dissappointment that I feel like I ought to not have, or forever tuck away. Yet, I do not feel ashamed, or look down on myself (although at times I still revert to becoming my own harsh critic). Rather, I give it all up to God. I feel liberated, and extremely thankful that God's grace not only grants me forgiveness, but the strength courage to own up the ugliness in my heart. That, it is OK and despite of it all, God loves us more than we can ever know. And, like a loving patient teaching one's child to ride a bicycle, God helps us along the road of lie. He picks us up when we fall, wipes away our tears, kisses our wounds, and tell us to try again, and again, and again. Father, with all the troubles in this world, how desperately we need your Grace.
And to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, but all the thanks and glory :o)
Grace
Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name
Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that
Changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything
Grace
She's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside
Of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips
She carries a pearl
In perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace finds goodness
In everything
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