Being in Taiwan always brings about a range of emotions for me. Coming back the place where I spent a big chunk of my childhood not only brings back memories, but also a sense of wonderment of what life might be like if I hadn't left. My Chinese would be a heck of a lot better, but my English... not so much ;oP Perhaps I'd be married now? Perhaps I would've wanted to pursue a graduate degree in the West? These are might haves that I will never know.
This time around, I am happy to announce that so far my trip has been mostly pleasant and peaceful. The past few years, I've been apprehensive about coming home because a trip back always drains out my emotions completely. To my surprise, the last week has been quite good, and even enjoyable at times. I wondered if people have changed. But I realized that perhaps it was I who have changed. I didn't come back expecting things to be different. Most of all, I didn't come back with the pressure on my shoulders that I have to change anyone. As best as I could, I've tried to focus on appreciating what God has given me, the happiness of being with family after so long, rather than focusing on the negative things that don't go the way I feel they ought to go. And what a relief it has been, for me to live my life in a more positive light.
How awesome it is to have delicious food cooked for me (esp breakfast! which I never really eat) at every meal. How nice it is to know that your parents are just out in the living room watching TV, resting and at peace. And your sister is just next door on the computer. Just to be ordinary people doing ordinary things, all in one household again, like a family - the family that we don't get to BE very often. :) How nice, how nice, how nice.
I've come to realize a few things. The number one thing is the power our attitudes have on us. For someone who has a negative attitude, life is hard. You are never satisfied with what you have, and always wanting more. The things you do are driven by dissatisfaction. You are cynical and feel like the world is out to get you. For someone who has a positive attitude and always sees the bright side of things, no matter how hard life gets, there is joy in the suffering. You are grateful for what you have. You love those around you for who they are without wanting to change them to fit to your liking (hard, this one!). And you do things driven by a desire to live life the way God intended you to. I think for most of my life I've been more negative than positive. It's time to turn that around. One of my new year's resolutions is to be an emitter of positive attitude, amongst other things.
This morning there was a mini drama at the breakfast table. I couldn't hold back my tears and walked back to my room. I prayed for Jesus to help me control my emotions, all the while reminding myself that it is definitely ok to walk away from these situations, not wanting to participate in childish games. Thank you God, for after a while I found the strength to let go and perhaps forgive. Holding a grudge can do nobody good, and this time I chose to use the strength I find in God to overcome bitterness and anger. I have made no excuses for the perpetraitor of the childishness, but I have made a choice for (knowing the eternally good and just God is with me always) to protect myself. And for this little step that I took, I am so proud, and thankful to God that he was with me always.
As Christmas approaches, we prepare for the arrival for Christ our Saviour. I think it's important for Christians to remember the promise that is fulfilled through Jesus Christ's reign here on earth. There may be evil - injusice, oppression, war, etc - in this world, but one day God will come and there will be no more pain and suffering. BUT in the mean time, I believe (and it is written) that it is through pain and suffering that our souls experience God's Grace. It is through pain and suffering, and preseverence, that we are built up as people with character.
This time around, I am happy to announce that so far my trip has been mostly pleasant and peaceful. The past few years, I've been apprehensive about coming home because a trip back always drains out my emotions completely. To my surprise, the last week has been quite good, and even enjoyable at times. I wondered if people have changed. But I realized that perhaps it was I who have changed. I didn't come back expecting things to be different. Most of all, I didn't come back with the pressure on my shoulders that I have to change anyone. As best as I could, I've tried to focus on appreciating what God has given me, the happiness of being with family after so long, rather than focusing on the negative things that don't go the way I feel they ought to go. And what a relief it has been, for me to live my life in a more positive light.
How awesome it is to have delicious food cooked for me (esp breakfast! which I never really eat) at every meal. How nice it is to know that your parents are just out in the living room watching TV, resting and at peace. And your sister is just next door on the computer. Just to be ordinary people doing ordinary things, all in one household again, like a family - the family that we don't get to BE very often. :) How nice, how nice, how nice.
I've come to realize a few things. The number one thing is the power our attitudes have on us. For someone who has a negative attitude, life is hard. You are never satisfied with what you have, and always wanting more. The things you do are driven by dissatisfaction. You are cynical and feel like the world is out to get you. For someone who has a positive attitude and always sees the bright side of things, no matter how hard life gets, there is joy in the suffering. You are grateful for what you have. You love those around you for who they are without wanting to change them to fit to your liking (hard, this one!). And you do things driven by a desire to live life the way God intended you to. I think for most of my life I've been more negative than positive. It's time to turn that around. One of my new year's resolutions is to be an emitter of positive attitude, amongst other things.
This morning there was a mini drama at the breakfast table. I couldn't hold back my tears and walked back to my room. I prayed for Jesus to help me control my emotions, all the while reminding myself that it is definitely ok to walk away from these situations, not wanting to participate in childish games. Thank you God, for after a while I found the strength to let go and perhaps forgive. Holding a grudge can do nobody good, and this time I chose to use the strength I find in God to overcome bitterness and anger. I have made no excuses for the perpetraitor of the childishness, but I have made a choice for (knowing the eternally good and just God is with me always) to protect myself. And for this little step that I took, I am so proud, and thankful to God that he was with me always.
As Christmas approaches, we prepare for the arrival for Christ our Saviour. I think it's important for Christians to remember the promise that is fulfilled through Jesus Christ's reign here on earth. There may be evil - injusice, oppression, war, etc - in this world, but one day God will come and there will be no more pain and suffering. BUT in the mean time, I believe (and it is written) that it is through pain and suffering that our souls experience God's Grace. It is through pain and suffering, and preseverence, that we are built up as people with character.
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