Long time no blog

It's been a long time since I've blogged.  I guess I have been spending most of my nights on the phone, right when I used to collect my thoughts and reflect on my spiritual life.  Since I've been with Ed, things have definitely been different.  I wouldn't say that I have drifted away from God.  Rather, I feel like now there are three persons in the relationship - Ed, myself, and God.  Of course, it is still important to have that personal one-on-one relationship with Jesus.  But, as we try to say our prayers together every night (albeit sometimes we get so chatty that by the time we get to paying, after spending some time talking over our prayer requests, we are falling asleep... but we keep trying :P), I feel that Jesus really listens and responds to our prayers.  We pray for our families, our friends, our church, our work, school, the ministry that we are involved in.... there are so many things to pray about.  And through us praying together, I feel that we are able to grow together.  God has been working in my heart as well, so I am a lot less 'needy' and a lot more trusting.  Perhaps it's because God fills my needs of being loved unconditionally and deeply, that I have stopped looking for that love somewhere else.  Perhaps it's the true realization of how imperfect we all are and the danger and vanity of trying to find one's complete fulfillment in another person.  Perhaps it's because God is slowly showing me what it really means to be in a relationship with someone - that is is about serving the other, but not ourselves.  I say all this, knowing that inherently we are still self-centered and selfish creatures.  It is still a long way for me to be selfless, but I think maybe I have inched closer to being in a relationship in which things are healthy and pleasing to God.  :)  Prayer is important... I will keep praying!