Serving God

A phone call at 11PM from my sister alarmed me.  It was 2PM in New York, what was she still doing up?  It turns out that she had called to ask for some advice on church related things.  She expressed some frustration that there seemed to be so many rules that we, as church goers, or leaders in the church, are subjected to.  I listened to her vent, and in my head I thought, "I totally know what she is talking about!"

It has been only 4 months since I took up post as the C&C chairperson, and already I feel like I am burnt out.  What started as something very exciting and something that I had a lot of passion for, is turning into a chore, a responsibility, and sometimes a bit of a headache.  Along with my thesis, I find myself in a new relationship.  And sometimes (maybe not the thesis) it is much more desirable to spend time with the significant other than to deal with the 5 different opinions (and how to solve) offered to you on how fellowship should be run.  Needless to say, the passion in my heart has perhaps taken a slight shift.  Gone are the days when my life was more simple, and C&C was my unofficial boyfriend.  Now, I have to learn, with the wisdom that God grants, how to manage my time wisely, so that nothing in my life is neglected, and that I am giving each area enough time and care.  Of course, my personal relationship with God should always come first.  Each day, despite the new busyness, I still hear him calling to me when I have gotten a little slack on doing my devotions.  I eat up the words when I open the bible after a day or two of not getting around to it.  I feel refreshed after being nourished by the word of God.

I have gone of course.  What I wanted to reflect on, in actuality, is how I think to road to serving God is going to be difficult.  Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me."  He wasn't just referring to the people he calls to be missionaries in the middle of the jungle in Africa, he speaks to all those who do work in His name.  And that includes most of us regular church folks, who lead bible studies, play piano on the music team, who are chairpersons of fellowships, deacons, elders, etc.  What I have learned in the past few months, is that God doesn't expect us to be perfect, nor does he expect us to be supermen and superwomen when it comes to serving Him.  He expect us to, however, surrender ourselves to Him when we serve Him.  He expects us to serve faithfully and with a pure heart.  And through the process, we become more humble, and more aware of the complexity and brokenness of human beings.  But at the same time, we learn and grow, and see that the world is really not that black and white, and realize how much we need God's guidance and Grace in the midst of all of our ego and opinion-clashes. 

So I press on, though I am tired.  Perhaps I want to run the other way, and take the easy way out, the selfish way out.  But, I know that God has called.  And when he's called, I cannot disobey.  It will be a long road yet, and sometimes I feel so helpless and frustrated that I don't know what to do.  That's when I remember to come back to God (because in our church-busyness we often forget to do that!) and pray for His strength.  God works in mysterious ways.  Sometimes when cannot see what he's doing, but I believe He is working (for all those who love Him!).  It is all by His Grace anyways, but not by what we do, our deeds or how hard we pray.  To surrender ourselves to God is to let God take over in our lives.  Perhaps that is when amazing things will happen.  Actually, take away the perhaps...  My faith tells me that if we surrender our lives to Christ, His reign will start to reveal itself through our lives...  During this time of advent, we remember Christ's promised second coming.  In many ways, he has already come into our lives, accomplishing great works through many of his faithful servants.  Let us anticipate for Him with great desire, saying....Come, Lord Jesus Come...