Time to Refocus!

It's been a Crazy Christmas!  I think my mind officially went into combat mode 2 weeks before the VTPC Christmas celebration.  We just got back from Whistler tonight after a weekend (well, a day more like :P) of snowboarding and tomorrow I'm heading back to UBC tomorrow to enter into thesis-writing-war-zone (OK, I'm being a little dramatic here, work with me).  Yes those little fingers are getting ready to type type type away!

God has been good and faithful in the midst of all this busyness and stress.  There have been so many thoughts that have run through my head, but unfortunately I have not had the time to write them down here.  And now as I sit here at the end of it all, looking at another year ahead of me, I can't help but wonder what God has planned for me this year.  Yet, lately I feel like I've been walking on a path dangerously too close to the side of a steep cliff, where I could easily fall off into the abyss of no return.  So the question is not really what God has planned for me, but will I willingly obey Him?   

Sunday was a rare day off for me.  Since we were going up to Whistler right after service,  I didn't sign up to serve at 12:30 (though ended up doing power point).  The guest preacher talked about how Joseph can be an example Christians in unquestioning obedience to God.   The Bible does not have much record of what Joseph says, it appears that he was a simple and quiet man.  But when God gave Him a command, to take Mary as his wife, to raise Jesus as his own son, to escape to Egypt, to come back to Israel, Joseph obeyed without saying a second word.  It wasn't going to be an easy life from now on, but Joseph knew that the Holy and Sovereign (Almighty!) God was at work here.  And perhaps, God's main purpose was not to make sure Joseph lived a comfortable, happy, and stress-free life.  But Joseph understood that God sees the bigger picture.  What Joseph was about to be faced with was not easy, but he chose to obey His God.  According to Jewish Law, Mary would have been stoned for being pregnant before she was married.  Yet, Joseph decided that he would deal with Mary quietly because he did not want to expose her to public disgrace.   Moreover to Joseph's faith in God's work, he also had compassion.  A lot of the times we fuss and fret over what God is saying to us.  We wonder, "God, what is it that you want us to do?"  Micah 6:8 - And what does the Lord require of you?  To do justice and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God"  It's simple, yet it can sum up so much of what we are to do in any given (some very difficult) situation.    

Having said that, the world is not black and white.  It is hard to know what the right thing to do is when there are so many voices around you, all with good intentions.  At one point earlier this week, I had serious doubts as to whether or not I could continue with the service at church.  It all seemed too much, too stressful, and what for?  I am deathly afraid of stepping on the wrong toes, yet I do not want to ignore that voice inside my head (God's voice?) to tell me to do the right thing.  This week's sermon really spoke to me.  Yes, the road ahead may be long and hard.  No, it's not going to be all cushy.  But God is at work here.  It's almost as if He reminded me to take heart and do not fear, for He is with me.  

It's time to refocus.  I have slipped a little.  Tonight, I realized maybe it's because I have drifted from God that things have been more stressful for me.  This could be a chance for me to fully experience God's power at work, if I surrender to His love and His grace, and obey His commands.  Instead, I have been running away and doing things my own way.  In a way I could feel it in my soul, like I am resisting the Spirit of God from coming in while all this other junk is filling up in there.  Lord, help me to refocus on You once and again.  I was listening to, "Word of God Speak" by Mercy Me the other night and remembered how I used to be filled with quiet awe and serenity when listening to that song.  Thank you Lord that the Spirit reminded me of how it felt, and that after remembering, I want more.  It's a brand new year.  I hope that in 2010 I can grow closer to God and experience Him more.  I pray that I can live out my faith, and be the salt of the earth.  It will take discipline, but the Lord will be my strength!