Regent Chapel was great today. There as no speaker. Instead, the hour or so was spent on scripture reading, responsive singing, and lighting candles of hope. It felt really neat to be spending time amongst many others (most strangers I might add) in worship and prayer. During the service, when I was praying quietly to myself, I felt this surge of courage inside of me springing up and out. Actually it was more like it was flowing, like lava from a volcano (again, geologist's way of describing things!) from within me. I knew that my life would be filled with trying times, but I was not afraid. I wasn't weary of what was to come, or what could come. It just felt like in the midst of chaos everything would still be okay. Unlike before, I would always be afraid of what was to come. But it felt like this time, I finally had the humility to accept the problems in my life. It's as if God is slowly molding and re-molding me, from someone who is somewhat of a perfectionist (and cares a lot that others would see me as being perfect) to someone who wants to show the rest of the world what God has made me to be like. I'm not sure if that makes sense. But it is as if the closer I get to God, the better I know myself and accept myself and those around me as who I am and who they are in God's sight...
In retrospect, life has definitely not gotten easier since I've come to know God again. Not easier but I am stronger through accepting my weaknesses and having being able to hand over my burden to God (most of the time, as sometimes I still try to do things myself) I am definitely more peaceful and joyful ;o) And sitting in bed at 2:30 am I am actually really looking forward to tomorrow because you never know what goodies he's got in store for you ;o)
Ah Jesse, the definition of CLASSY!
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