I have again made the conscience decision that unless otherwise directed by God , I could never be in a relationship with someone who was not a Christian. He would have to be someone who loves and is devoted to God. I am relieved in a way that I have made that decision in my heart (and in my mind) but slightly worried as to when/where/how I will find such a man. I suppose being in my mid twenties (Oh my gosh!) I have been thinking about marriage and family. Saying this out loud in my blog may sound a little desperate, but the truth of the matter is that the time has come, and my maternal instincts are surfacing, or should I say, bursting, like a volcano. Not only maternal instincts, but the desire to share my life with someone, to love someone with my whole heart. And yes, he's GOT to be a good Christian.
In talking to the sweet and wise-for-our-age Ah-Ju tonight, she said it's about how much you are willing to give and trust God. If you give him much, you will be blessed with much. But if you don't trust him and always seek to do thing your own way, he will not be able to give you all that he's prepared for you because you are always running away from him. So Lord, I declare my devotion to you on this night, once again. The church and my work within the church, the role God plays in my life, is simply too large for me to be with someone who doesn't share the same faith as I. In the past weeks I had been struggling with this issue deeply, and one night last week I prayed to God, earnestly, and asked for his guiding light to shine upon me. I think God is pretty amazing. When I look back to the past week or so I'm able to see how he has used the most ordinary events in my life - church meetings, church, school, to b
In "The Voice of Jesus", Gordon Smith talks about "The Dark Night" as experienced by John at the Cross. It is a period of spiritual aridity, or aridity experienced in prayer, in which the euphoric feeling of God's presence, his love, his providence, and the burning heart full of desire to know Jesus more, disappears... The dark night can be lonely, long, and a time of disappointment. We are left to remember those days when our faith were like green sprouts finally pushing, bursting (I need to add on to my vocab library!) through permafrost - young, fresh, full of life and hope. Yet John at the Cross states that aridity in prayer does not necessarily mean we love God less. The love God for us is constant, it's great and it's never-changing (probably more so than water is H2O, yes... definitely more so). God is not feelings. Feelings are a gift from God, of which he could decide to take away at any given time. What I am trying to say is that we should not always judge and decide on our level of commitment to Jesus by how much we "feel", but more by our faith and firm belief of him and all that he is to us. As C.S. Lewis said, in the act of love-making, there can be pleasure but sterility, and not pleasure but fertility. Christ abides in us if we invite him to do so, despite our feelings. This is not to say that we will never experience the love of God, but rather in times when you feel like God is just "not there", to remember the times he touched your heart and hang on to that as proof that he IS, past, present, and future.
So why did I talk about all that. Well partly because I ramble a lot on this ramble of a blog. But maybe I am starting to learn how to discern the voice of Jesus. In knowing that it is not purely on affections that we base our decisions, I am glad (and have deep peace) to say that it was through mindful facts and asking myself some hard, practical questions about how much I am willing to trust God (treating this seriously, as God is my boss of life). No, it was not because we sang a great song at church on Sunday, or praying together in front of a flickering candle light in the darkness really gave me chills up the spine. Yet, it was through meetings in which we talked about the future direction of the church that I realized my deep care and yearning to serve God through serving the church. It was through being at worship practice in which I delighted in God for the gift that he's given me to serve him and his people. It was and is in the mundane things in life that need to be done that I find pleasure and deep satisfaction in being a child of God.
I am just realizing that I spent the last hour or so writing about something that came to mind spontaneously. Well, it didn't come spontaneously but is what I wanted to write about particularly tonight. Last night I wanted to write about how I've sinned by judging others in their mistakes, while not thinking about how I was forgiven by God for all the horrible things I've done in my life. And how I really should hate the sin but not the sinner. But I got tired and decided to go to beddy! Perhaps another night I would be obliged to expand on this topic. I apologize for the unrelated title and content of the blog ;o)
Delight yourself in the the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
In talking to the sweet and wise-for-our-age Ah-Ju tonight, she said it's about how much you are willing to give and trust God. If you give him much, you will be blessed with much. But if you don't trust him and always seek to do thing your own way, he will not be able to give you all that he's prepared for you because you are always running away from him. So Lord, I declare my devotion to you on this night, once again. The church and my work within the church, the role God plays in my life, is simply too large for me to be with someone who doesn't share the same faith as I. In the past weeks I had been struggling with this issue deeply, and one night last week I prayed to God, earnestly, and asked for his guiding light to shine upon me. I think God is pretty amazing. When I look back to the past week or so I'm able to see how he has used the most ordinary events in my life - church meetings, church, school, to b
In "The Voice of Jesus", Gordon Smith talks about "The Dark Night" as experienced by John at the Cross. It is a period of spiritual aridity, or aridity experienced in prayer, in which the euphoric feeling of God's presence, his love, his providence, and the burning heart full of desire to know Jesus more, disappears... The dark night can be lonely, long, and a time of disappointment. We are left to remember those days when our faith were like green sprouts finally pushing, bursting (I need to add on to my vocab library!) through permafrost - young, fresh, full of life and hope. Yet John at the Cross states that aridity in prayer does not necessarily mean we love God less. The love God for us is constant, it's great and it's never-changing (probably more so than water is H2O, yes... definitely more so). God is not feelings. Feelings are a gift from God, of which he could decide to take away at any given time. What I am trying to say is that we should not always judge and decide on our level of commitment to Jesus by how much we "feel", but more by our faith and firm belief of him and all that he is to us. As C.S. Lewis said, in the act of love-making, there can be pleasure but sterility, and not pleasure but fertility. Christ abides in us if we invite him to do so, despite our feelings. This is not to say that we will never experience the love of God, but rather in times when you feel like God is just "not there", to remember the times he touched your heart and hang on to that as proof that he IS, past, present, and future.
So why did I talk about all that. Well partly because I ramble a lot on this ramble of a blog. But maybe I am starting to learn how to discern the voice of Jesus. In knowing that it is not purely on affections that we base our decisions, I am glad (and have deep peace) to say that it was through mindful facts and asking myself some hard, practical questions about how much I am willing to trust God (treating this seriously, as God is my boss of life). No, it was not because we sang a great song at church on Sunday, or praying together in front of a flickering candle light in the darkness really gave me chills up the spine. Yet, it was through meetings in which we talked about the future direction of the church that I realized my deep care and yearning to serve God through serving the church. It was through being at worship practice in which I delighted in God for the gift that he's given me to serve him and his people. It was and is in the mundane things in life that need to be done that I find pleasure and deep satisfaction in being a child of God.
I am just realizing that I spent the last hour or so writing about something that came to mind spontaneously. Well, it didn't come spontaneously but is what I wanted to write about particularly tonight. Last night I wanted to write about how I've sinned by judging others in their mistakes, while not thinking about how I was forgiven by God for all the horrible things I've done in my life. And how I really should hate the sin but not the sinner. But I got tired and decided to go to beddy! Perhaps another night I would be obliged to expand on this topic. I apologize for the unrelated title and content of the blog ;o)
Delight yourself in the the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
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