I was chatting online with a dear friend today who is studying abroad at the moment. I told her that have been busy helping my sister plan her wedding, which is going to take place this summer. Naturally, I joked to her about when she was going to tie the knot. She has been dating someone for the past while and seems blissfully in love and very happy. She replied and she was terribly afraid of marriage. "I'm in a happy relationship right now, I don't want to get married and ruin everything."
The subject of marriage has been on my mind lately. I spent the entire weekend running around town with my sister, doing wedding stuff. I also attended a bridal shower on Saturday. The fact that my friend is so fearful of marriage, so fearful of committing herself to one man for the rest of her life, I think perhaps speaks of the way our society has come to view marriage. What is marriage anyways? Nowadays, people are marrying at a later age. Why is that? I think it's because people can do everything normally done within a marriage without actually being married, the most obvious being living together and having children together. So marriage just becomes a tradition, and it's quickly loosing its battle in the modern society. Marriage is no longer viewed as a gift from God, the joining of two person into one. Another reason people get married later is because they want to make sure they have the financial means to support a family. They also want to wait until they really get to know the person to make sure they don't turn into some sort of monster later on down the road. This is fair enough as marriage is not to be taken lightly, but with serious thought and commitment. But sometimes people fall into the trap of waiting until everything is perfect until they are willing to tie the knot.
I'll have to admit, at times I am fearful of marriage. Even though I am not dating anyone at the moment, I think about spending the rest of my life with one person. And at times I become very afraid that he will turn out to be someone completely different from what I expect him to be. So, my dear friend's fears are totally understandable. However, I have also come to realize that to get married is to make a choice, a promise to the other person and a promise to God. There may be hundreds of others who are better suited for you, with better jobs, who are better looking, who will treat you better. But when you make a promise to become one with another in a marriage, it stops being about just yourself, and what you get out of the marriage. You are no longer yourself, but one in the eyes of the LORD.
Marriage is hard (though I don't have any first hand experience, I am sure of this). It's about honouring God's intention for "man" not be alone. It's about receiving the gift of unity with another, of love and of sex, within the right order. There will never be a perfect time, and you can never get to know someone well enough to know them completely inside and out. Problems will come and go, perhaps much bigger than the ones you face now. But, with his blessing and guidance, it's worth it to go that extra mile to be with the one you love. So go ahead. If you love a special someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them. Get hitched! There is no better time than now ;o)
The subject of marriage has been on my mind lately. I spent the entire weekend running around town with my sister, doing wedding stuff. I also attended a bridal shower on Saturday. The fact that my friend is so fearful of marriage, so fearful of committing herself to one man for the rest of her life, I think perhaps speaks of the way our society has come to view marriage. What is marriage anyways? Nowadays, people are marrying at a later age. Why is that? I think it's because people can do everything normally done within a marriage without actually being married, the most obvious being living together and having children together. So marriage just becomes a tradition, and it's quickly loosing its battle in the modern society. Marriage is no longer viewed as a gift from God, the joining of two person into one. Another reason people get married later is because they want to make sure they have the financial means to support a family. They also want to wait until they really get to know the person to make sure they don't turn into some sort of monster later on down the road. This is fair enough as marriage is not to be taken lightly, but with serious thought and commitment. But sometimes people fall into the trap of waiting until everything is perfect until they are willing to tie the knot.
I'll have to admit, at times I am fearful of marriage. Even though I am not dating anyone at the moment, I think about spending the rest of my life with one person. And at times I become very afraid that he will turn out to be someone completely different from what I expect him to be. So, my dear friend's fears are totally understandable. However, I have also come to realize that to get married is to make a choice, a promise to the other person and a promise to God. There may be hundreds of others who are better suited for you, with better jobs, who are better looking, who will treat you better. But when you make a promise to become one with another in a marriage, it stops being about just yourself, and what you get out of the marriage. You are no longer yourself, but one in the eyes of the LORD.
Marriage is hard (though I don't have any first hand experience, I am sure of this). It's about honouring God's intention for "man" not be alone. It's about receiving the gift of unity with another, of love and of sex, within the right order. There will never be a perfect time, and you can never get to know someone well enough to know them completely inside and out. Problems will come and go, perhaps much bigger than the ones you face now. But, with his blessing and guidance, it's worth it to go that extra mile to be with the one you love. So go ahead. If you love a special someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them. Get hitched! There is no better time than now ;o)
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