Working again ;)

I haven't written in a long.  Yes, in a long while.  I think my last entry was from two months ago - a record time in which I haven't written I believe.  Life's busyness has gotten in the way of my reflections, which were a daily routine back when I was a student.  Lots has happened in the past few months.  I've finished my degree and am now back at work again.  It all happened so fast, yet it seemed like so long ago that I started at UBC, unable to even fathom the idea that I would some day have a post-graduate degree.  I don't feel much different - not much smarter, or wiser.  I just feel... well, I feel older now.  

I feel that life has gotten more complicated since I've started working, although it's only been a short 1.5 months since I started.  Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying my job. immensely  But the art (or skill?) of transitioning from living a student life to that of someone with a career has thrown my world into a whirlwind.  Things only seem to get busier, and I have to really focus on my priorities now.    

I've wanted to get back into my blogging habits for a while now.  Every now and then I would accidentally find myself reflecting on something that I really want to put in here, or even just by writing things out, figure out exactly what my mind is thinking about as I meander from thought to thought with they keyboard.  Tonight, since I started talking about my job, I suppose I will share with you some thoughts I have on this new-found career of mine.  

I've worked before, thought I was much younger back then.  At the age of 22, I didn't have much else in mind other than that I wanted to have fun in life.  I knew that at some point I would probably meet somebody, get married and have a family.  But that was way off in the future, and I would still have a couple of years before I would have to meet "Mr. Right".   In retrospect, I was just a kid, still curious and selfish and thinking that someday I would 'have it all' - a career, a loving husband, lovely children, etc. Now at the ripe old age of 28 (don't hate me you older people!) it seems that the rush of time is really closing in on me.  As I watch people around me get engaged, married, and start their own families, I can't help but feel that I too, would soon follow this 'predicament'.  

I find myself playing the role of two people - the career woman, and also the one who spends her fair of time cooking, cleaning, amongst other 'house-wifey' chores around the house.  I see E working long hours, and I want to be there to cook for him, to give him a back rub when he's tired, to lend a listening to whatever complaints he has about work.  The part of me that wants to nurture is slowly emerging, all the while I am still expected to work hard at my job and advance in my career.  It all feels very strange and new to me, and it is slightly overwhelming.  I am not quite sure what to do with this situation that I am in.  I catch myself by surprise when I see how much my own mother's ways have manifested themselves in me.  In my own relationship, I am slowly giving up the childish ways believing that every girl deserves to be treated like a princess, but learning the truth that loving someone means loving them with a sacrificial love.  I realize that I cannot be my mother, and I won't live the life that she has.  Yet, I feel like I am stuck between the system of family culture and values that I grew up in and this new culture - the western culture.  Strange how this is only hitting me now, now that I have started to think about marriage and family and all that.

Well it's time for bed.  I'll be the first to admit that this was not a very complete entry.  Where as when I was single I could go on blogging all night, but the man I love is waiting for me to call him :)  No mention of God in this blog... but that doesn't mean I haven't often thought of hm.  More on that later.  Hello www, I am back..!