Make me a servant

I haven't been consistent in my blogging.  I'm sure that's how I start all my blog entries these days ;o)  To my readers (if there are any!) I promise I will blog more frequently as I used to before.  Maybe I am making this statement because I myself would like to get back into it.  

God has definitely been working in my life.  I noticed a while back that ever since coming to Christ (that is, coming to Christ with a serious attitude) my life has not gotten easier.  In fact, there are many struggles that I've had to face - those especially that stem from my pride, selfishness, and other ugly parts of my heart that I had never had to confront that much when I lived a more secular life.  Don't like the way I look?  Buy more make up and clothes.  Not satisfied in a relationship?  Get a new one.  Unhappy with achievements in life?  Look for others' faults to make myself more satisfied and comforted.  I admit I used to do those things.  But now that I have been given new life in Christ, I am free from these secular chains that used to weigh me down, or am I?

It is definitely a continuous struggle.  And as I have mentioned and as I mention again, God gives circumstances to make us what we pray to be (Also a great line from Bruce Almight!)  I had long prayed for God to make me humble and servant-like.  And he is using my surroundings to teach me just to do that.  I spent a better part of the night being envious of someone else's life.  Then I prayed a prayer tonight that sounded something like this, "Dear God, make me a humble servant.  Help me to become someone who wants to help others because I see them as equals - from doctors to lawyers to homeless people.  Help me to have the love in my heart for each person because I see them as a child of God.  Keep me from helping people because I want to feel morally superior than others, but to really want to help them for the sake of helping them."  

I know God continues to guide me, as I ask him to each day, each time I pray.  Maybe the way he guides me isn't the most comfortable or smooth sailing.  Perhaps he reminds me, in that small still voice, what is the right way.  But the devil in my heart plays a different tune.  Plink plink plink, he likes to start a racquet in my head, to make me doubt the LORD and his goodness, to make me envious, ungrateful, and all the other no-so-pleasant things.  

So I pray, "LORD Father, please continue to mould my heart.  Help me become the person you made me, one who pleases you.  Take away my pride.  Make me meek and mild."  And I do believe he listens, and is at work, right this very moment.